REFLECTIONS

Seasonal Affective Disorder (better known as SAD) - is essentially a form of depression, which often comes paired with anxiety - all induced by the autumn and winter months. The days get shorter, nights get longer and the sun is a rare occasion.

Last year I waved goodbye to university and embarked on the next part of my life. With graduations occurring from throughout the year, it can often come at quite a shock when you leave the university bubble you've been living in for the past 3 years or longer.

While I didn't start taking classes until I was 16 pretty late to the game I was always dancing around when I was little. Flash forward to July 2018 when I walked across the stage of the Royal Festival Hall on the South Bank to receive my degree in Dance Studies.

And who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. Okay so you probably know who I am, but I’ve watched Gossip Girl at least 8 times all the way through and multiple different episodes more than that, and one character I always adored…Queen B. While she may seem like your average spoiled socialite, there is so much more to her character, which develops with every season.

The idea that the underwear you were defines whether or not your consent to anything is just pure disgusting. Sometimes wearing a thong is necessary to avoid a panty line...it doesn't mean you automatically consent to any sexual activity.

Halloween has always been an occasion I enjoyed, whether I was out trick or treating or attending parties...I love using it as a time to get dressed up and play around with my makeup. I've always been someone that goes for more of a 'cute' halloween look opposed to scary.

I sound like a bloody owl when I say twenty two by twenty two, but with my twenty second birthday less than six months away, I thought I'd put together a list of all the things I want to achieve...maybe I should start with realising I'm getting old. It's crazy to think that in January I hit the big 2-1 and now I'm about to be able to sing 22 for an entire year and HOPEFULLY relate to it.

Am I the only one that feels like 2018 is just running away from me? I always seem to have so much to do but absolutely no time to get everything done. Despite the fact we are only in July I already feel like so much has changed in the past 6 and a half months

These past 3 years have been a roller coaster ride, I spent first years partying and in denial of struggling with depression until I finally went on medication before starting my blog that summer. Fast forward two years later I'm off my medication and have been for the whole the third year, I've gotten grades to be proud of and I'm walking out of uni with my dream job...although it's not related to my degree in the slightest!

Dissertation. Exams. Social events. Presentations. Nobody warns you how busy you're going to be in third year...specifically in your last couple of terms of your entire university career. Honestly, I wasn't prepared at all and while I only have 3 classes a week I still find myself struggling to do everything I want.

Twenty-one years. I've been alive for 21 years...goodness knows how I've made it this far, but I have by some miracle and I'm ready to embark on the next 21 years of my life. It's been one heck of a rollercoaster ride and at times I've just wanted to stop and get off...but I've persevered through awkward teen years, bad hair dye and overdramatic eyeliner.

Is it 2018...how? I remember seeing in 2000...I was only 3 but it's my first memory I have. I also remember when 2010 happened and it was scary that we were in double digits...now we are closer to 2020 than 2010.

I find it hard to believe we've reached the end of 2017. I've been in a relationship nearly 6 months now, I'm only 4 months away from finishing my degree. How has the time gone so quickly?

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, Mean Girls, Love Rosie and Monte Carlo…what do all these things have in common? That’s right the girl gets the guy but in reality, life isn’t like that, as much as we wish it was.

While I may have days where I just lounge around in bed not necessarily doing anything outwardly productive, the reality is I never truly switch off. I live on campus, therefore I sleep in the same room in which I study and write essays in and this makes it hard to truly relax. I may spend hours scrolling through Twitter and Instagram, but I'm also checking out new blogs and talking to fellow bloggers or responding to brand emails.

So if you hadn't realised I spent a week of being absent from social media during April, this is because I've been living it up in Croatia...or as we called it Rowatia (since we are rowers and we were in Croatia).

When I was younger (14,15,16) I'd never have dreamt of posting anything personal on the internet

So I quite often see this post floating around multiple blogs and it really made me think about how much I have changed and developed as a person in the past few years

2016 was an absolute whirlwind of a year and I'm not entirely convinced we've actually reached the end. It sure was a rollercoaster ride for myself and all of you guys I'm sure. I had my heart broken for the first time, watched it heal before finding someone amazing.