The Reasons I Think Was Single

I’ve been single for over 6 months now (update: a couple of weeks after this post went live I got into a relationship with Sam…and I’m super happy) after my first serious relationship came to an end and I experienced my first heartbreak. While I’ve been on several dates in the past few months I haven’t actively pursued looking for a relationship and instead, have enjoyed being free and single (maybe a little too much). Back in January, I did a post in which I spoke about Dating Myself and while I’ve been doing this I’ve learnt a few things about myself…including reasons as to why I might be single. While I quite often have my friends turn round to me and ask why I’m still single and how I haven’t found anyone yet, but to be honest, I’m 20 and as nice as it would be to find someone and start to settle down, it just isn’t my time yet.

During my time of being single I’ve started to write about love, sex and dating on my blog (though the posts are few and far apart as I’ve been planning on making a series for July…of which this is the first post) and I’ve loved it, they make me really think about what’s going wrong, what I want in a partner and what things are important to be in a relationship.

I grew up watching Disney movies, and this set some high standards for my future partners to achieve and while my standards are a lot more realistic now I still want to be treated like a princess. This is in the sense that I want to be his first choice, not his only choice, after all, you never know who might be around the corner. Plus I’ve kissed enough frogs, it’s about time prince charming came to sweep me off my feet.

We all have our own personal type of people we are attracted to, and while I’m attracted to both sexes I do see myself settling down with a guy more so than a girl. When it comes to the type of guy I go for, they tend to be taller than me, have a bit of chub on them and I adore stubble or beards. Bonus points if they have blue or green eyes (my ex had the most beautiful eyes). To me looks aren’t too important though, I like someone to have a good personality in the sense that I can have silly conversations as well as intellectual ones. They need to be able to make me laugh, and I should be able to be myself around them from day one.

01. I’m needy

I don’t mean needy as in I need a servant but I like to talk to the person I’m seeing a lot, and I love to learn new things about me. While some people love to talk and text as well and are super speedy at replying.I’ve spoken to people before that take a day or two to reply which I just find very annoying. As well as this I also love to cuddle and be cuddled and some people just aren’t into that, and they prefer their personal space whereas I’m down to cuddle 24/7. I also need a lot of reassurance that you do actually like me and I’m being too annoying (which in itself is annoying) I’ve just had a lot of people leave my hanging, or dropped me in the blink of an eye for someone else.

02. I’m driven to succeed

I’ve spoken to guys before that have instantly been turned off when I’ve said I don’t want to be a stay at home partner, and I want to be able to buy things myself as well as spoil my partner. The fact that I want to turn either blogging or dancing into my full-time career often makes people hesitant as they’re not ‘normal’ occupations. I’ve actually been laughed at before over the fact that I don’t want a ‘normal’ job and I don’t want to be stuck in hospitality for the rest of my life (which is what I currently work as)

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03. I’m too friendly

On more than one occasion I’ve been talking to someone and they’ve dropped the ‘you’re such an amazing friend’ line, it’s not just guys that get friend zoned I’ve had it happened to me more than a handful of times. It’s even happened with people I’ve been in a relationship and they’ve ended up seeing me as more of a friend than a girlfriend. I’m a relaxed person a majority of the time, and I get along with people quite easily and while people say I’m quite a naturally flirty but I don’t think I can flirt my way out of a paper bag. I’m also oblivious to someone flirting with me a majority of the time, and people often have to outright tell me they’re flirting with me or are interested.

04. I know what I want

I know what I want in a potential partner, while I’m not too bothered about someone’s appearance if they have a shitty personality or can’t hold a conversation they’ll soon be waved goodbye. I need someone I can hold a conversation with whether it be about politics or the newest addition to the Dominos menu, communication is key to me so they also need to be open with me and not try to hide anything from me (unless without a legitimate reason).
To me it’s also important that we not only have physical and emotional compatibility but also have sexual chemist, I couldn’t really be in a relationship with someone I wasn’t sexual attracted and excited by.

Are there any reasons as why you think you might be single?

Love you lots like jelly tots x


All photos within this post were taken by my mum on my Fujifilm Finepix S4240 in natural lighting. They were then edited in VSCO and Facetune. The location used was Canoe Lake in Southsea.

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