• Letter To My Past Self

    So I quite often see this post floating around multiple blogs and it really made me think about how much I have changed and developed as a person in the past few years, it’s amazing how good it is to cut off toxic friendships and spend more time on yourself. I’ve always been unsure about exactly who I am but over the past couple of years. I’ve learnt to embrace certain aspects about myself that I previously thought ruined my chances of making friends or being successful. Obviously the fact that I going through many changes within my body didn’t help in the slightest way, especially as I was an earlier developer and had the figure of a woman way before most of my friends had even gotten their first period. I’ve always been wiser and maturer than my age as I had to grow up quite quickly as my mum used to work night shifts from the time I was 13 so I was responsible for making sure I got myself up for school and just little things like that. That soon became looking after the house when my mum was diagnosed with cancer, I had a lot more responsibility including looking after her after multiple surgeries, however, I’m not living at university and don’t quite have to act as responsible since I now only have myself to look after and I’m currently Dating Myself…so I’m trying to embrace my last few years of youth before I have to go out to work full time.

    I may not have come to embrace things in a simple route, actually, it was anything but simple and at times it was soul destroying but I’ve come out a stronger person that isn’t afraid to go after what I well and truly want. Sometimes two steps forward and one step back is actually better than just constantly moving forward as you are able to look back on what went wrong and where you can make changes so the same thing doesn’t happen again. I’ve tried to take on a more ‘everything happens for a reason’ look on life so I that I don’t get hung up as much when things don’t go to plan (I’m a massive over-achiever and plan very far into the future and hate when something doesn’t go to plan) I’m obviously not trying to say I’m perfect, I am however striving to be the best version of me and to embrace all my little quirks that are unique to me and help me to stand out from the crowd…in the best possible way. Anyway let’s get on with the actually letter to my past self before I bore you with my life story!

    YOUR CURLY RED HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL

    Those girls that used to tease you over your red hair are now the ones that are spending hundreds of pounds to get natural looking red hair so embrace the fact that you don’t have to do that. Don’t be ashamed to be a copper top, your hair colour is unique and all that dye and heat you are using will cause your natural curls to drop and even at age 20 they still haven’t returned to ringlets and instead sit as loose curls. A couple of guys you are going to date absolutely adore your red hair and the way it’s massive when you take it down from a bun or how it pushes your ears forward when you tuck it behind your ears, even if they do playfully tease you over the colour you know they are in no way trying to hurt you. Trust me red hair becomes extremely fashionable in the next few years and you’ll realize this in time to stop dying your hair for long enough that your natural colour returns. So what if you don’t have the typical blue or green eyes that normally come with red hair, having brown eyes and red hair makes you that little bit more unique and alluring!

     GUYS ARE STILL A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SPECIES

    Yep you still end up friend zoned, even after you’ve been dating that person for a while, but embrace it. Guy friends are just as amazing as girl friends, plus you have the added bonus of being a girl that enjoys cars and camping and not being afraid of getting dirty…something, not all your girlies want to do. You’ll loose your virginity a lot later than what you thought, and it won’t be the best experience but I promise you’ll eventually discover what the hype about sex is. You’re still super awkward around new people unless you’ve been talking to them for a couple of months before…but by that point you’re not interested anymore and end up ghosting someone. There will be one guy that will change your outlook on love completely and make you realise how easy it is to fall in love, however, he won’t be the right person for you and you’ll cry a lot about it, but you’ll remain friends, since you developed an amazing connection in the few months you dated.

    PURSUE YOUR DREAMS NO MATTER WHAT

    The sky is the limit, there’s nothing you can’t do if you don’t put your mind to it. You currently don’t know your full potential but you’ll go on to study dance at university, something that might only seem like a thing of dreams right now however you’ll do it. You’ve also set up your own blog (obviously, it’s where I’m currently writing) and you’ll meet loads of amazing people through it, and get to have some once in a lifetime experiences, including events that you’ve only ever seen on TV shows before (especially Gossip Girl).  Just remember you’re the one in control of your life and if you want something to happen then go out and make it happen, things don’t happen easily for those who do nothing…well at least not amazing things anyway.

    YOUR MUM HAS ALWAYS GOT YOUR BACK

    Despite the fact that you grew apart because you thought you didn’t need your mum anymore, you will go through a tough situation in which you will need your mum more than ever and she’ll welcome you back with open arms and this will cause you to be closer than ever. You finally feel as though she understands you and there is nothing you can’t talk to her about, she’s more of your friend now than your mum…you’ve grown up enough that you don’t need her to look after you but you’ll always be her baby girl. She’s the person you ring at 2 am when you’ve over thought something and end up crying your eyes out over the stupidest thing, she’s also one of the first people you want to tell good news too. Just remember she needs you right now as much as you’ll need her in the future, and she’s going to return all the favours plus a lot more…make the most of the time you spend together.

    Is there anything you’d like to tell your past self, I could write so much more but the post is personal enough without me delving into the deepest parts of myself…plus that could make a post by itself. What’s the number one piece of advice you’d give your younger self?

    Love you lots like jelly tots x

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